end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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