Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize