with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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