I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
