What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just gift wrapped bread.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
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