and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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