I hope mine doesn't look like that
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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