11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
