Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
