Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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