Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
