im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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