what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
