it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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