I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
