i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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