And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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