oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
