Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
there is puke in my bra ... again
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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