I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
