I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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