he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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