We should be called the Road Head Warriors
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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