Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
