You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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