I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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