: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
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