right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He did a backflip because drugs
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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