google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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