We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
