So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
false alarm. still invincible.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize