you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
