I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
