I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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