Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I need to calm my uterus...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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