I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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