HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
