if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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