remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
