airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
