Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
