You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
