so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think people are normalizing furries
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
