Apparently you make a good broom.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
