Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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