When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize