Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
