...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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