Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
