she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
