shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
