big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
