Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
3pm strippers are depressing
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
