ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
