dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
