The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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