My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize