Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i believe in u and ur pee
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