I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
