He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
