That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize