Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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