sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Of course I have a pirate flag
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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